This girl has had quite a memorable 6th grade year - "memorable" meaning good and bad. She has really been struggling academically and of course as a mom I have been trying to get at the source of the struggle. Problems with friends? Trouble with organization? Too social? I just can't seem to figure out what has been going on. But a few weeks ago during the chaotic afternoon hours, she did mention to me that her eyes were "doing funny things". I heard her but I did not really hear her if you know what I mean. A couple of days later after looking at her current grades I questioned her in total frustration about why she was doing so poorly in school. I am not sure why but it occurred to me to ask if she was having trouble seeing. She got teary eyed and said that she was. I was elated! Not that you want your child to have vision problems but I wanted an answer, a simple easy answer. And I thought I got it.
Well, not quite. She got her glasses - in the words of Elise "Wow Jules, glasses and braces!" I thought there would be an immediate turn around. I thought she was armed with what she truly needed to get back in the game. But no. More missing assignments, more bad grades on tests. So finally I made an appointment to meet with her teachers. As I sat there with Jules and her teacher I noticed something. Her teacher was not yelling at her, reprimanding her or threatening her - all things I have done plenty of this year. She was asking questions. What does the end of your day look like? Are you double checking your planner with the board? Are you making sure you have what you need to take home? Are you putting completed assignments together in a homework folder? Are you checking edline regularly? Asking questions and listening to her answers in order to formulate solutions. Sure I had done some of that but usually in a spirit of anger and frustration.
So much of successful parenting relies on asking the right questions and actually listening to the answers. It is so hard sometimes, especially as the mother of five, to feel like I am really listening to anybody. But this memorable 6th grade year of Jules' has given me a strong reminder that I need to do just that.
One of the positive, good memories of this year for Jules will be JA. Junior Assembly has been going on since before I was a 6th grader. Boys and girls have to dress up (coats and ties and gloves and dresses!) and they learn traditional dances like the fox trot and the waltz. It is a lesson in manners and social interaction but the kids just have a blast and want it to go on and on! Here are some pics from the last class which parents are able to attend.
Another key element to parenting is seeing. We made it to the Japanese Festival last Sunday and Elise sort of took over my camera. Of course I was initially annoyed and was ready to have to go through and delete a million pictures because she tends to go a little crazy sometimes. When I went to upload the pictures, I was actually very impressed with the variety and quality of the pictures she took (Jules took a few also). I pray that I can always remember to try to see the world through my children's eyes because so often their view is much more colorful and magical.
On to our next festival!
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