Happy Birthday to Me

I heard a lot of falling dominoes in the making of this creation. As a Mom, it is sights like this that make it all worth it. Nobody told them to do it. Nobody told them to keep at it when setting up dominoes can be sooo frustrating. Here I am, 37 years old, wife for 13+ years, mother of five, surrounded by creative love on my birthday. Happy Birthday to Me.

Season Finale

Whew! We did it. We pulled off another season - the best ever I might add. It has been so fun watching the kids play and seeing the fields come alive with family and friends. And there is the adorable Commish. Mark really puts his heart and soul into this league and I try to be as supportive as I can. He is a people magnet. I truly think his energy, happy spirit and inclusive nature have transformed this league.

Every year I wince a little when I think of how busy we are running this thing. When we are at the field, Mark is going around making sure everyone has what they need and the fields are top shape. I am most often in the snackbar feeling guilty that I never get to just sit and watch my children play. But we make every effort to see them as much as we can and this year was particularly fun to watch. Diego's pitching and level of play this year was exciting. Jules may be smaller than a lot of the girls she plays against, but she holds her own and FLIES around the bases. Elise was often put at pitcher because she could be counted on to make the plays. And Paolo - let me just say the kid gets dressed in full uniform 2 or 3 hours before his game starts and if you ask him, his team has one every game. Good times.

Well, I can't say I am not glad the season is done. Time for a little R and R and summer vacation!

Batman and Boogers

I am tired. It is the end of the school year, there are a million things going on and I am tired. Whenever I feel exhausted like this, I have to find humor and happiness in the little things. Today, it was Batman. I don't know why I thought this was so funny but as I walked down the hall this morning, this is what I saw. I think there may have also been a booger smeared across the wall nearby, but I didn't think anyone wanted to see a picture of that. Anyways, it just made me think of how funny kids are. I mean, most adults I know don't go around the house and shove toys in random places - but kids do. They also wipe boogers on the wall. Just enough to make me giggle today. And that is just enough to keep me rolling.

Center of the Universe - Speck of a Star

Being the mother of five children of various ages can be challenging. Each is at a different stage, has different needs, and I am often left wondering if I am doing enough. But something occurred to me the other day that brought me some peace. One of the trickiest parts of being a parent is making our children feel like they are SO special, SO loved, SO important - in other words, the center of the universe - while simultaneously helping them to realize that they are a speck of a star in the scheme of things. This crazy paradox keeps me guessing, trying new tactics and constantly re-evaluating my parenting skills. How can I love them and give them my all without turning them into little monsters who can't see beyond their own wants and desires? But so much of this epic lesson is inherently taught in daily life of a family, especially a large family. I can't be everything for everyone at all times and so they learn to be there for each other, be patient, and be prepared for things to go just a little different than they planned. Of course this usually happens in the form of a few shoves, some shouting and maybe even a few tears, but it happens.

The Real Thing

Easter has come and gone and we are now enjoying the beauty of nothingness - No school, no baseball/softball, no need to be anywhere. As I was uploading our pictures, I was thinking about something Father Matt said in his homily on Easter Sunday morning. He said that it is easy to "fake it" during Lent. To pretend we are somber, to overemphasize our fasting, beat ourselves up a little. But joy, true joy, the kind we celebrate for 50 days of the Easter season - that joy you can not fake. And I have felt that joy. No faking. I have felt it when I think of Mark and the countless ways he puts his family before himself. I have felt it as I look at my children, all full of life and hope and promise. I have felt it in my home with all its bustling activity. And I have felt it from my God who makes himself known in big and small ways. I've got the real thing - no faking.

Happy Birthday Paolo Joe!

Paolo Joe, PJ, Joe Joe boy - Your smile says it all. You are a happy, sweet, thoughtful, smart, funny, athletic, wonderful boy. I love the time I have to spend with you and as you turn five I am becoming aware of how soon you will join the big kids and be off to school all day. For now, let's keep on having picnics, playing Zingo, and playing catch out front. Here's to another great year! May God bless you and keep you in his care. I LOVE YOU!!

Should I stay or should I go now?

I can't remember who sings that song, but it captures my mindset the last few weeks. You see, I have this sort of cyclic mental process where I hash over my life and wonder what it would be like to live somewhere else. I grew up in Phoenix, went to the same school k-8, spent all 4 years at the same high school, went to college in Dallas, and now here I am, living in the house I grew up in, sending my kids to the same school, going to the same events, seeing the same people. Admittedly, I sometimes wonder what it would be like to set out and stake a life somewhere new, have new friends and new places to go to. But as I was uploading my most recent batch of photos onto the computer, I was struck with a sense of gratitude for the community I belong to and the tangled web of relations and friendships I am a part of. I have so many great memories of SSJ and it is fun to see my children creating those memories too. In this picture with Elise are two of her classmates - Kristen and Kahleah. I went to high school with Kristen's aunt and Kahleah's Mom and Kristen's Dad was one of Becky's teachers at SM. The older I get, the more connections there seem to be. Also pictured above is Sr. Raphael throwing out the first pitch for the Spring League. And then there was the GS Father/Daughter dance with an 80s theme that really sent me back in time. See me with my bros? I think it is part of God's grand plan to have some of us stay to keep the flames burning and others to carry a part of that flame out into some other part of the world. I like to pretend I am the latter but deep down I know how I am made and how I am happy. I am a flame keeper. I just have to resist the temptation of thinking that the grass is always greener on the other side. With gratitude and self knowledge, the grass is green everywhere you go.